Sunday, April 1, 2012

Plan C

Water filled my eyes and crocodile tears rolled softly down my cheek as the Mr. spoke.  We had been waiting for weeks to hear from Prague.  We had heard nothing up to this point and it looked as if that trend would continue for some time.  No positions were available with the Mr.'s experience.  We were speaking of plans as I lay on our comfy couch and he in the over sized chair. Warsaw was our Plan A.  Oh how we loved our time in Warsaw!  Selfishly, I wanted Warsaw because we already have friends there.  When we heard there was nothing available in Warsaw, Prague was our Plan B.  Days went by and turned into weeks.  Don't they know we are waiting?  We are willing to turn everything upside down, leave the comforts of home (and family!) and relocate overseas.  Weeks turned into a month.  It was then, relaxing on the couch,  I asked the Mr. the question to which I did NOT want the answer.    But I didn't know I didn't want the answer until he gave me the answer.  My question was "What's next? What's Plan C?"  to which he replied "Moscow?" 

There is a lot more to his answer because he already knew Moscow was interested in speaking to him.  He was interested and always had been. I can not lie.  I was not surprised in the least by his "Moscow?" answer. I knew. I have known since 2006 when upon returning home from Russia with our new son, the Mr. joked about going back to live there one day.  I did not find this one bit funny.  Does he not recall what we just went thru? The adoption was two and a half years of the hardest part of my life. Not to mention having the HOT water go FREEZING cold on me the second day we were in country only to find it would be like this the whole three weeks we were there.  So, in short, I knew....I knew we would end up in Moscow.  We both had always agreed when the time was right and if Munchkin One wanted to return, we would take him.  But I thought we would visit, not live! Plan C had turned into Plan A.

As the Mr. gave his answer and went more in depth with his words, my eyes filled with warm tears.  I was afraid.  It was as if I was reliving in my mind all of those difficult memories in one fast forward moment when out of my mouth came the words "ok..."  I said ok, ok because I could not stand in the Mr.'s way.  If he felt this is something he needed to do, then who am I to stand in his way?  I never want him to look back and resent me if I had said otherwise.  And so, he submitted his application to Moscow. Within days he had an interview where the future plan was discussed. 

Plans....the funny thing with Plans is we make them all the time.  Sometimes they work out. Sometimes they don't.  Adoption was never Plan B for us.  It was always Plan A.  How that plan went was not of our choosing. It was a long, tough road met with many obstacles and fought with many tears, but we made it through.  God had a much bigger and better plan than we could have ever imagined for our family.  His plan was perfect (and I wouldn't have wanted it any other way)!  Why wouldn't this plan, Plan C, be any different? 

I go with an open mind and an open heart. I am SO excited!

The Look/See is currently in the planning stages...stay tuned!

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